Grounding Yourself Before the Holidays: Managing Expectations and Finding Calm
Before the Holiday Rush
It’s inevitable, the holidays are coming! And for most of us, that can be really stressful. Whether you’re hosting spectacular parties, the designated holiday shopper for family and friends, or juggling a full schedule of commitments, it can feel like a lot. And that’s perfectly normal. A mix of excitement, joy, stress, and fatigue can all coexist at the same time. I want to share some practical strategies for grounding, managing your energy, and staying present during these exciting, but also stressful times, so you can actually enjoy your holiday celebrations.
1. Recognize and Manage Expectations
The pressure to be perfect and enjoy every moment comes from both society and family. And it’s tough, but completely normal. It’s impossible to be everywhere, do everything, and meet everyone’s expectations. To manage this pressure, start by recognizing where expectations are coming from. Ask yourself:
Which expectations are truly mine, and which come from others?
Are these expectations realistic, or are they putting unnecessary pressure on me?
What do I actually want to get out of this holiday season?
Once you can identify the expectations that are weighing you down, you can take steps to manage them:
Prioritize what matters most to you by deciding which activities, traditions, or people are essential for your happiness and focus on those.
Set realistic goals instead of trying to do everything perfectly, and give yourself permission to do what’s feasible.
Communicate openly to let others know your boundaries or limitations to reduce any misunderstandings.
Give yourself grace and accept that you can’t control everything, and that’s okay!
By being intentional about expectations, you can reduce stress and make room for what truly matters to you this season.
2. Practical Grounding Techniques for Calm
Here are a few ways to reset when things feel overwhelming:
Mindful breathing: Simple exercises can help you slow down and find calm in the middle of holiday chaos.
Body awareness: Notice sensations, stretch, or take a short walk to reconnect with your body.
Journaling or reflection prompts: Track gratitude, emotions, or boundaries.
Something I personally like to do is watch something funny! Humor can be incredibly comforting when you feel overwhelmed or alone. It reminds us that life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time and can even bring people together.
3. Setting Healthy Boundaries
Saying “no” gracefully and prioritizing your energy is crucial. Boundaries aren’t just for family. They can help in friendships, work situations, romantic relationships, and social obligations. Some ways to protect your time and energy include:
Politely declining invitations when you need rest or downtime.
Limiting time with people who drain you or consistently create conflict.
Taking breaks during busy events or long gatherings to recharge.
Asking for help when responsibilities feel overwhelming, whether at work or home.
Communicating clearly about what you can realistically commit to, without overextending yourself.
Boundaries don’t make you selfish! They actually help you show up more fully for the people and activities that matter most.
4. Prioritizing Meaningful Connections
The holidays often involve countless social events, but it’s impossible to be everywhere or see everyone. Instead of trying to do it all, focus on the connections that bring you the most joy and fulfillment.
Consider:
Choosing quality over quantity and attending fewer events but engaging fully.
Reaching out to friends or loved ones you haven’t connected with in a while for a meaningful conversation.
Creating small, intentional traditions with the people who truly matter to you.
Letting go of obligations that feel like you should go, rather than wanting to go.
Focusing on meaningful connections helps to reduce stress, keeps your energy intact, and allows you to create memories that matter instead of spreading yourself too thin.
5. Embracing Imperfection
Holidays rarely go perfectly and that’s completely okay! Things may not go according to plan, guests may arrive late, or you may forget a task or gift. Instead of striving for perfection, try to embrace the imperfections. Recognize that moments of chaos or mistakes can still be meaningful and even bring laughter. Sometimes the moments that are unplanned create the best memories. Give yourself permission to enjoy the season without judgment or pressure. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and allowing yourself to experience the season authentically, you allow yourself to have more genuine and memorable moments.
Holiday Takeaway
The holidays can be both joyful and stressful, but with awareness, boundaries, and a focus on meaningful connections, it’s possible to find calm amidst the busyness. Take a deep breath, give yourself grace, and savor the moments that truly matter. Wishing you a happy, peaceful, and hopefully stress-free holiday season!